A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

The ornament in the picture made me giggle. I picked it up for a dear friend whose tagline in times of intense stress is “It’s fine.” We laugh together over the “dumpster fire” moments because if we don’t laugh, we might cry. Many people use “dumpster fire” in a darkly humorous way to describe what happens when the problems of life begin to burst into flame. But on a more serious note, I think a more accurate description is “house fire.” 

Our problems are flaming where we live, and while a dumpster fire is contained, a fire in one room of a house can quickly spread to another until the whole house, or life, is consumed. For instance, a health crisis begins a financial emergency which in turn sparks family problems. Or, we can have separate unrelated fires in multiple rooms of our life – work, friendships, family, health, finances – that make it feel like our whole life is a stress inferno. 

Here’s the rule of life. Fires will come. They may be an explosion we never saw coming, or they may be embers with just enough life to take off when the wind blows just right. Sometimes they are the results of our own inattentiveness to something important, and sometimes they just happen. Regardless, the first issue at hand is not to argue about how it started. The first issue at hand is what to do about this blaze. 

Over and over I have run into the statement “God never gives you more than you can handle” It’s usually stated with a sigh followed by “I’m sure He knows what He’s doing, but I’ve had all I can take”. This is often said by people who are in the middle of a threatening fire in one area of their life, but they are feeling the pressure of other fires smoldering dangerously in other areas. They are understandably exhausted. They feel as if they are holding a water pistol and that God has told them that’s enough. They’re equipped. They just have to be more determined. Shoot more shots. 

The problem is the first statement is a lie. (I address this in more detail in my post I’m Fine and Other Lies I Tell You.) It’s a misquote of scripture where we are promised that God won’t allow us to be tempted more than we can stand – but will provide a way out of the temptation for us. (Side note: it still on us to take the exit. He doesn’t make the choice for us.) 

I am convinced, in fact, that God DOES allow us to go through trials that are “more than we can bear” because those are the very things that drive us to depend on Him, to cry out to Him. They draw attention to the pitiful water pistol in our hands, our own limited strength and resources. They remind us that we need Him. His grace is sufficient- but it is His given to us – not something we muster up on our own. 

He promises to never leave us or forsake us, but we get busy and wander off. We get full of ourselves and our need for “control.” We look up to find ourselves facing flames in a room of our life but have fallen out of the habit of looking to Him.  So we do what we always have done. We attempt to “power through” – our little water pistol of strength and resources blazing. And this time it is not enough. Flames begin to leap from one room to another. 

In the moment of a “fire”, most of us lose our heads to one degree or another. Some lose them completely and throw the oil of frustration and anger at it. Some simply run screaming in tears. Some are more controlled and reach for their handy water pistol of self control, hard work, money, whatever their resources are. Those people may reduce their fire back to embers, but then the wait begins again, and they are exhausted. They have nothing left for the coals glowing in another room.

There’s a better way. 

Philippians 4:6-7 has this to say, “Don’t worry about anything but in everything through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

It’s easy to read that all at once and miss key details. Try a phrase at a time.

1. “Don’t worry about anything” – “Anything” covers everything from smoking matches to leaping flames. Every day has its own concerns. The idea here is to make a habit of taking things to our Father. This is not a pat phrase to pull out when things are really hard. This is a daily practice.
2. ”…but in everything” – Paul just doubled down on what we should be taking to God. Maybe he does this because he knows that pride gets in our way. We think we should fix it ourselves. God wants to teach us complete dependence on Him.
3. “…through prayer and petition with thanksgiving…” – This one has brought me up short on several occasions. This problem is not good. How does thanksgiving factor in? If I have a “house fire” in my life, how can I be thankful? I have discovered that I can be thankful simply for the privilege of bringing my too big for me problem to Him. I am thankful that He hears and responds. I am thankful that He is willing to walk with me, teach me.
4. ”…present your requests to God…” – Share with God. Do you understand who God is, the Creator of the universe and the one who sacrificed His Son for you? He is the God of infinite power and overwhelming love. Tell Him what is on your heart.
5. ”…and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding…” – It is interesting to see that Paul doesn’t promise things will turn out the way we envision. He does speak with confidence about the peace we can experience, the peace that makes no logical sense because it is not dependent on circumstances but on God.
6. “…will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” – God’s peace guards not only our emotions but also our THOUGHTS. When we worry, we often tend to ruminate. I encourage you to look this passage up and read verse 8. Paul tells us what to think about instead. (Thoughts matter, and we have a choice about what we think.)

In John Jesus refers to himself as the “Water of Life.” When He uses this metaphor, He is speaking of quenching spiritual thirst. I hope I am not taking liberties by extending this a little. If we are filled with the Water of Life (through prayer and time in the Word), fires still come, but they have a much more difficult time catching spark within us. The house is “wet”, and wet wood is naturally flame resistant. The fire serves to push us to the Father.  

It is still hard. It still hurts. It may still scare us. But our first reaction is no longer our water pistol. We hit our knees and cling to the promises in God’s word. This is strength. This is Holy Spirit guided self control. This is why we can “rejoice in the Lord always.” This is peace because this is trust in the One who is the Water of Life.

If that kind of resource sounds like something you would like to grab ahold of, let me encourage you to begin practicing Philippians 4: 6-8. Make a habit of taking all of your worries to God. Make a habit of thanking Him. Allow your trust to grow in the One who made you, knows you, and loves you.