A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

Twenty-seven years ago I was in a stressful phase of life. I was a stay at home mom with a three and half year old, an 18 month old and a newborn. We also were beginning major renovations on our home while living in it. It was a time of great blessing but also of stress as I tried to navigate it all. 

If you don’t know me very well, you may not know that I have a deep, insatiable love for chocolate. I can turn down most desserts, unless they are chocolate. I cannot keep Nutella, chocolate chip cookies, or brownies in my home without munching through them with the unquenchable appetite of a voracious caterpillar. My only ticket to self control with those things is simply not to have them around. 

So it probably makes complete sense to you that during that time of intense stress, my chocolate cravings spiked above normal. One day, I was frantically scrounging for chocolate. I was searching cupboards, drawers, and cabinets with the thoroughness of a crime scene detective. I held onto a desperate hope of finding some missed item of chocolate that would satiate my craving, that would bring me comfort. I would have settled for months old Easter candy at that point. I probably would have given a stale chocolate Santa a go. Then, a quiet voice spoke through my frenzy. 

“Why are you looking to chocolate for comfort, peace, and strength? I am all you need.” Oh, the conviction of that moment. I was ashamed – and rightfully so. I was looking to a physical thing to meet a much deeper need. I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t need nourishment from food. I was in need of peace of mind and a quiet heart. I was in need of emotional and mental sustenance. None of that was in or is in chocolate, or any other physical thing.

My attachment to chocolate, my turning to it in this way, had become habit, just an accepted part of my life. God called me to cut chocolate out. (He knew that I didn’t have the will power for moderation at that point.) He asked me to fast chocolate. At the time, I didn’t know for how long. I just knew that I had a lesson to learn and that I wanted to be humbly obedient. 

About a year later, I had a moment where I knew I had been released from that commitment, but the lesson had been learned. God wants first priority in my life. He wants to be my first go-to when life is hard, not my last resort. 

Today I heard someone say, “Tangible needs can help us see spiritual needs.” That rang true for me. That moment of the chocolate craving is one of several moments throughout my life where God has used what I thought of as a physical problem to point out a spiritual issue within me. 

What “need” are you experiencing right now? What are you anxious about? How might God want to use that to draw your attention to something deeper? I want to remind you that you are not enough; you’re not supposed to be. When we are enough, we believe we don’t need God. 

Jesus said “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3) We are blessed when we recognize that we are impoverished because it is then that we turn to God and cry out. The King of Kings who owns all of heaven and earth wants to meet your needs, but maybe you don’t need what you think you need. 

Jesus also said in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” We aren’t supposed to power through and do it all on our own. We are supposed to draw on Him for all we need in life. 

Are you exhausted, lost, or overwhelmed? Do you feel like life is barely in your control? Are you lonely, discouraged or in need of comfort and strength? I’m going to echo what I heard today and ask you, what spiritual need might God be drawing your attention to? If you’re trying to fill it with a what or a who, let me encourage you to let that go. Seek Him alone. He alone can fill it.