A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

I’m in a meh moment right now. I share this because I know I’m not the only one who deals with these kind of moments. You know, these are the times when you feel like you have to drag yourself to do things.  You are physically tired, even after a good night’s sleep. Your emotional tank is low, though there is nothing obvious siphoning it off. Mentally, you struggle to focus and creating anything is like working with large, hard chunks of clay.  You’re beating them but making very little impact.

Unfortunately, these are moments I often find myself running for comfort. I scavenge the pantry for comfort foods (chips, chocolate, pastries), and if those aren’t available, I will mindlessly graze trying to satisfy some mysterious craving and never quite succeeding. Comfort may also look like a nap, disappearing into a book, or watching a favorite movie for the umpteenth time. Occasionally for me, it will be plunging down the rabbit hole of Instagram. I know some who will watch cat reel after cat reel.  

Comfort is always some form of evasion, seeking to get away from these nebulous dark clouds that hang over my vision. AND it almost always brings at least a twinge of regret. Today, I am going to choose a different path. In this moment, I will give thanks. Feel free to join me. The one thing I know about this path is that there are no regrets at the end of it.

Thank You Lord that I don’t always feel like this. Thank You that this is just a feeling that colors my perspective but will pass. Thank You that You understand me even when I don’t understand myself! 

Thank You for creating us with both emotions and reason. What a cold place this would be if there were no emotions. For though emotions involve pain, disappointment, anger and others, they also are where we find delight, peace, joy, love. A world without emotion would be without tears, but it would ALSO be without laughter. 

Thank You for reason which helps us better master our emotions. Because of reason, I know that hope and energy will return, and I am grateful of that.   

Thank You that life isn’t about me and how I feel each and every moment. However, thank You that though I am insignificant in light of the size of creation, the workings of the world, and the sheer mass of humanity, You see me and hear me. So even if I make too much of my feelings, am too self focused, You love me and care even about my petty complaints. You don’t brush me off and tell me I am silly or stupid. 

Thank You that, even as I am comforted by your understanding, You call me to more. You see and accept me where I am, and then ask me to do better, offering me Your help to do so. In asking me to give thanks, You invite me to look beyond myself.

Thank You for the beauty and wonder of your creation that surrounds me and calls to me, if I will but pay attention. The zinnias You brought life to are beautiful. Thank You for the eyes to see their color and patterns and for the ability to derive pleasure from them. Thank You for the throbbing hum of the cicadas that sing of midsummer. The symphony of bird calls is glorious. Thank You for the little sweat bees (Hover flies actually) that tickle the skin as they investigate. 

Thank You that though I am tired, I CAN continue to move and do. I am able to do more than I feel I can do, and I am grateful. Thank You that when I am weak (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually), then You are strong. Thank You that You can work in my weakness and even be glorified in and through it! (What a thought!) 

Thank You that You can use my meh-moments to draw me to Yourself. Thank You for patiently reteaching me lessons that I thought I’d already mastered. Thank You for providing this moment to teach me perseverance. It’s minor, I know. A baby step really. But You are faithful even when I am taking baby steps – when I seemed to have regressed. Thank You for your faithfulness. Help me to be faithful as You are faithful. 

Thank You that You are in our meh-moments as much as You are with us in our joys and our tears. For, You are true to your promises, and You promise to “never leave us nor forsake us.” 

Thank You for leading me here, for speaking to my heart, for asking me to give thanks. Thank You for using this post of gratitude however You see fit. If no one reads it, still, You have used it to bless and uplift me. (So much better than the pantry raid which leaves me full but empty.) You are endlessly good, and I will gaze on your goodness and give thanks.

”Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”

James 1:17 (NKJV)

Life is not a static state of either joy or sorrow. Rather, it is more like an undulating sea. Whether you are riding the waves, feeling you are drowning, or tiredly treading water, thanking God for His goodness is always a good way to shift your focus and fill your lungs with air. What would you give Him thanks for today?