A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

This post is not part of my normal pattern. But I wanted to share with you a conversation God and I had today.

As I write, I am battling congestion and a hacking cough that keeps me up at night. I have prayed for healing. In my mind, that means make this go away now. But this morning God directed my thoughts to Philippians 4:6-7. 

Here’s how my conversation with God went: 

God’s word -“Do not be anxious about anything…” 

Me – Ok Lord. I’m not anxious. I’m just sick of this.

God’s word -“But in everything by prayer and petition…” 

Me – (maybe with a touch of impatience) that’s what I’m doing. I’m bringing this request. This is part of the everything. 

God’s Word – “…with thanksgiving bring your requests before God.” 

Me – Wait. What? How am I supposed to be thankful for this? (Pausing to reread, looking for loopholes) That’s just be thankful in general, right. 

God – Brings to mind I Thessalonians 5:18 “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 

Me – (Stumbling over that everything word again.) So…(long pause) “everything” means… (weak voice) everything? 

Patient silence as I wrestle with my distaste. 

Me – I don’t think I can do that. (A bit of whine in that statement)

God’s quiet voice – Try.

Me – ummm, ok. Let’s see. Thank You that You hear me when I cry out to You. How’s that?

God – Keep trying. 

Me – Thank You that You are the Healer.

-Thank you that You have designed my body to fight infection.

God – Good start, but there’s more there.

Me – Thank you that this cold reminds me that my good health comes from You. 

God – nods and brings to mind James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift comes from above.”

Me – This means even good health – I didn’t earn it or deserve it. I am not owed it. (Comprehension is beginning, and the gratitude comes more easily.)

-Thank you for a cold that reminds me that I am weak, that I need You. 

-Thank you for using this discomfort to root out my sin of self pity.

-Thank you for using this weakness to root out my sin of pride and self reliance. 

I’m pretty sure God is smiling at this point. It is a delight to watch your children learn.

God – Don’t forget verse 7 of Philippians 4

I read – “And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

I nod slowly. I’m beginning to get it. My gratitude helps me trust what He is doing, even if it doesn’t align with what I want. Gratitude helps me rest in the fact that He is good. This provides peace that isn’t related to my circumstances.

Me – Thank you for showing me this today and for the cold that allowed me to learn this lesson. 

God’s heartbeat is loud in my ears. 

Me – I hate to admit it, but You’re probably going to have to teach me again. 

God – I know. But a step forward is a step forward, My child. 

Me – Thank You – and Amen (meaning – so be it).