A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

Ok. Is anyone else feeling sort of …bluesy after the holidays? Or maybe a better term is discombobulated? Out of sorts? A little depressed, restless, not sure what to do with yourself and yet overwhelmed by what is facing you after all the festivities have passed?

We had a wonderful Christmas. All my children were in, including our grand-baby. The holidays were joyous and full. And now I am in the season of clean up, and I’m having trouble getting things (not so much stuff as habits) back in order. What had been routine before now seems extra difficult to make myself do. There’s this sensation of extra weight on my feet and spirit. My “want to” has gotten misplaced in the clutter.

I think one of the culprits is an overdose of dopamine. Dopamine is a hormone that is released when we experience pleasure. You may have heard it called the “happy hormone.” So, how is it that I can say I “overdosed” on dopamine? How can anyone have too much “happy”?

Here’s how I’ve heard it explained. Think of a teeter-totter. Pleasure is on one side, and pain is on the other. Our bodies like homeostasis best – an even teeter-totter. When we do things that bring us pleasure and the teeter-totter weighs more heavily on the dopamine side, our neuroendocrine system seeks to balance it back out and return to homeostasis. We frequently experience restlessness and anxiety as a result. 

Unfortunately for us, we live in a world where we have easy access to easy pleasure. By easy I mean that it costs us relatively little effort to get it. (We get a hit of dopamine when we see images that please us as we scroll. That’s why it is addicting. Food for any craving is readily available.) The result is that when the anxiety and restlessness set in, we don’t sit with it, but we seek to alleviate it with another hit of pleasure. We pick up our phone, eat that cookie we aren’t really hungry for, buy something else from Amazon, etc. We feel like we are solving the problem, but the reality is that we are increasing the problem. We are perpetuating a cycle and creating a habit pattern that may quickly turn into an addiction.

Here’s an interesting fact though. When we do things that make us uncomfortable (exercising, saying no to the tasty morsel, getting up early, using the sauna or the cold plunge), we push down on the opposite side of the teeter-totter ourselves, and you know what our body wants to do? Balance it out. There’s a reason that when we do something “hard”, we later feel good about it. That’s God’s design at work.

The picture at the top of the post is one of those chosen pain times in my life. My husband, our two girls, and I had hiked what we came to call “the Steps of Mordor”. I cannot currently remember what the path was actually called. I do know that the way up was strenuous and difficult. But there’s not one of us who wishes we had skipped it, stayed at the hotel and watched a movie. There was a sense of accomplishment and pride as we conquered it. The hike has even become part of the family lore and, as a result, still indirectly brings pleasure.

This isn’t to say that we should avoid things that give us pleasure. Rather, it is to recognize that we live in a culture that celebrates overindulgence. We regularly practice overindulgence in all sorts of areas of life. If we enjoy something, we generally can easily repeat the activity, and no one thinks twice about it. But there is a price.

One of those price tags is constant dissatisfaction which may show up as restlessness/anxiety. (Depending on what you are reaching for there are other price tags as well: an ever shortening attention span, wasted time, unhealthy weight gain, late payments, growing debt…) I want to holler “STOP” before you and I reach for that easy pleasure button again. Think. Will ________ solve my real problem? Or am I actually feeding a negative and potentially destructive pattern?

So back to my holiday “overdose” problem. It’s easy to deal with my restlessness and slightly heightened anxiety by watching TV, going to grab another piece of fudge, playing a game on my phone, etc. But what would be most effective and ultimately satisfying response is doing the hard thing. 

Sitting down to write is mentally uncomfortable. It requires attention and focus, and there is a huge temptation to walk away when the words don’t flow right away. I’m surrounded by things that are easier to do. I have a book I’d absolutely love to get lost in. But when I finally find my way out of it, I’ll be back to discombobulation and wanting another “hit” of pleasure. The truth is that staying, sitting through the discomfort, will ultimately not only move me in the direction I want to go in terms of writing, but it also help my nervous system find the homeostasis that it seeks.

If God designed us so that self discipline benefits our peace of mind as well as other areas, where do we need to practice doing hard things? Before we start that list of “New Year’s Resolutions,” let’s look at our spiritual lives. If that’s out of line, no matter how disciplined we are in every other area, life will be out of line. 

Interestingly, spiritual disciplines (like prayer and meditation) push down on the pain side of the teeter-totter just as physical discomfort does. I suppose it is the “discipline” part of it, setting aside what we want to do to do something of deeper value. It can certainly take mental effort to focus.

There’s a good list of spiritual disciplines to choose from, but here are three to help you get started. If you aren’t in church, begin to practice that habit. Connection with other believers in important. If you aren’t reading the Bible, spend time there. Getting God’s Word into your heart and mind has LOTS of benefits. If you rarely spend time in real conversation with God, it’s time to get to know Him through prayer. Talking to the Almighty Creator of the Universe who loves you more than you can know is excellent for your peace of mind. 

One last thing. Doing “hard things” (practicing self discipline in any area) is not a one and done. Pushing ourselves to be uncomfortable can be good for us in more ways than we know. Developing habits of self discipline reap long time rewards, but habits are created by doing something over and over – not by doing it one time perfectly. This means repeated practice. 

So pay attention to that discomfort you’re experiencing. What do you automatically reach for to alleviate it? Is that your best choice? Or are you just jumping harder on the dopamine side of the teeter totter? Let’s work with the way God designed us and thank Him for the perfection of that design while we are at it. 

Thanks for taking time to read this post. If you found the content helpful or encouraging in any way, please feel free to pass it on to someone else you think would enjoy it.