A Cup of Grace – with a shot of espresso

A little over 35 years ago I married the love of my life. Only a year and a half before that I met him on a blind date that I nearly refused to go on. A friend of mine begged me to go out with him.  I agreed to go… once. He called, and I was immediately enamored with his southern accent and intrigued by his daring as he suggested ice skating as a first date. 

While on our date, I found him to be charming and easy to talk to and laugh with. I also discovered that he was a believer. I had been ready to hit the “eject” button before that. I had made a mess of things dating unbelievers and had promised God I wasn’t returning to that.

We hung out as friends for a couple of months before it evolved into an exclusive, labeled relationship. However, on a college campus it’s easy to spend a lot of time with somebody. We met for meals, went to games together, and generally spent most of our time together. Always there was unending, interesting conversation. 

I looked forward to and arranged my schedule to be with him. Then, I left for the summer and spent it far away in Wisconsin. Long distance phone calls were expensive, so only a few of those were made, but we each wrote lengthy letters throughout the week and mailed them every weekend. Never had I so faithfully written anyone before – or since. And each letter I received was poured over and carefully saved.  

I doubt anyone who knew me was oblivious to the fact that Steven was an important part of my life. I’m fairly certain I talked about him with regularity. He was my favorite person to spend time with.  And he still is. 

It is this picture of early complete infatuation and absorption that I think John is referring to when he writes to the church of Sardis in Revelation 2.  They have left their “first love.” Oh, they are still busy for Christ.  They have lots of “good deeds” to their credit, but God has always wanted our hearts above all else.

Then there’s the Laodecian church who has become lukewarm in their love and their service.  They are so wealthy that they have become self dependent. They rely on their own wisdom to guide them and their own wealth to sustain them. 

I’m afraid that either of these letters  could have the names of many American churches at the address. Some, at least, continue in service and proclamation of the truth, but overall, we have become lukewarm in our faith, at best. We attend church either out of duty or to be entertained, not because we are in love with our Creator and want to truly worship Him. We are dependent on ourselves and our ability to “fix” things. We self help our way through life and take great pride in our independence. 

How can I say that? Obviously, I don’t know the hearts of others. But I have to ask, are we eagerly talking about Jesus? When I was dating my now husband, his name wormed itself into every conversation. I thought about him constantly, and sought ways to spend time with him. If I had a problem, he was the first one I told, even if I didn’t expect him to do anything about it. If something wonderful happened, he was the first one I told. 

What evidence do we have that we are in love with Jesus? Do we eagerly read His love letter to us, the Bible? Do we page through looking for glimpses of who He is, delighted with each new discovery? Do we count time with Him as something precious, to be guarded? Do we listen for His voice and thrill at the sound of it? Or are we making excuses as to why we just don’t have time for Him? (If you were newly in love, would you make those same excuses?)

The church is not a building.  The church is believers. The church is you and me. So if the church has “left its first love” or is “lukewarm,” the problem is in the hearts of individuals. I am calling each of us to fall in love again with Jesus. But, how do we do that?

If you asked a therapist how to reignite your relationship with your spouse, one of the things they would want to know is how much time were you spending in real conversation. The therapist might ask some hard questions. Are you living apart even under the same roof? Are you making time for each other? Do you take time to thank your partner for the things they do instead of complaining about what they don’t do? Do you listen to them with an intent to understand or simply to reply and fortify your argument?

The difficult part of healing a human relationship is that both sides need to recognize the need and put out the effort, and neither can make the other one do so. The case is much more hopeful for us. God desires our hearts. He bears no fault in this drifting or stagnancy. In fact, He uses conviction and discipline to get our attention, to call us back. He is not passively waiting. But neither will He force you to turn around, to love Him in return. Only our side of the relationship needs work. 

So how much time are you spending with your Creator and Savior? Are you pouring out your heart before Him? Or are you throwing out casual, hurried prayers. Are you reading His word and looking for Him? Or are you too busy? Do you give heartfelt thanks for the gifts He has poured out over you? Do you see and acknowledge His loving hand in your life? Do you trust the One who loves and knows you best or are you busy telling Him with your actions that you’ve “got this”? 

Perhaps the most telling question is this: Do you miss Him when you don’t spend time with Him? 

Here’s the most hopeful part of this. If you are convicted and long for this close in love relationship with Christ, you can take that to Him. God has the ability to change hearts and desires.  I’m not saying it won’t take effort, but this isn’t a self help moment. Rather, that effort is given power and effectiveness when you grab ahold of His hand. It’s ok to pray, “Lord, help me love you more.”  In fact, I suspect He delights in that prayer. He wants you to choose Him.

What changes might occur if we prayed that heartfelt prayer daily? This isn’t a magic phrase.  It is a request of the Creator of the Universe to pull us into closer relationship with Him. Whether you’ve been a Christian for decades or are a fairly new Christian, there is always room to grow. I don’t want to be “lukewarm” in my faith and service. I don’t want to offer God a cold, take you for granted love.

Here’s a promise given to the Israelites when they had wandered from God and were facing dire consequences. I pass this to you because God’s heart for His people is unchanging. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (ESV) Jesus echoes this idea in Matthew 7 when He says, “Seek and you will find.”

Let’s agree together to pray fervently, “Lord, teach me to love you more. Help me to seek you with all my heart.” Watch. Take note. Pay attention. Anticipate. What will God do? He will answer. May we again fall in love with our Creator and Savior and sing His praise to the world.